Never again no more 6, p.9
Never Again, No More 6, page 9
“But she chose to come back. If she chose that, then she must learn to believe in that. But then so do you. Don’t marry her if you’re unsure, Aldris. Listen to me for once. You make sure before you make a promise to God and to that woman because in ten years, you don’t want to look back and wonder what the hell you were thinking. There’s no pain like old pain,” my mother warned.
As I was driving home, I thought a lot about what my mother had said. One thing stuck out to me at that moment, going back to the source of my complications. Everything got complicated for me back when I began allowing Jennifer and my feelings for Jessica to separate Lucinda and me. It all exploded when I slept with Jennifer. Why did I sleep with Jennifer? Because I was drunk as hell. My unfaithfulness had nothing to do with my feelings. At the time, I loved Lucinda. So maybe I just needed to speak with Lucinda again. Apologize for my behavior and forgive myself for it so that I could get over this feeling. This uncertain feeling.
“Hello?” Lucinda answered.
“Hi, Lu. It’s me, Aldris.”
“Humph. Okay. What is it that you need, Aldris?” she asked dryly.
“Are you busy?”
“Not at the moment.”
“I wanted to . . . well . . . apologize for the other night. It came off kind of harsh—”
“She’s your fiancée. What’s there to apologize for? It is what it is, right?”
“I mean, yeah, but I just didn’t like the way it went down.” I exhaled. “Listen, we’ve both done and said some harsh and regrettable things to each other over the past few months, and I just want to apologize for my part in that. You know? I was wrong when I first cheated with Jennifer, and from that point to any other that I’ve hurt you, I’m sorry,” I said sincerely.
It was truly time to bury the hatchet and try to live our lives as best we could, and I couldn’t do that carrying around any more burdens about Lucinda. I was hoping that this would go over smoothly, but I wasn’t so sure at this point because Lucinda was so quiet you could hear a pin drop from ten miles away. I just wanted to get back to the point where we were cool with each other and possibly salvage our friendship.
“Wow. Okay then. I’m not sure why you felt the need to say that, but I guess you had to get it off your chest. Look, Dri, you’re marrying Jennifer. You have your family now. That’s cool, and I wish you well, so please lose my number. At this point, there’s no need for us to talk to any further. It only complicates things. Have a nice life with your family. As for me, I have to go and finish up dinner for my fiancé and Nadia.”
I stared at the phone in shock. “Are you serious?”
“Yes, I am. We don’t need to talk.”
“No, about the marriage.”
“Yes, I am. Just as serious as you.”
I paused. “Umm, Lucinda—”
“Aldris, there is a certain point where it’s just not cool for us to be involved with each other anymore. That point was a week ago when Jennifer announced your engagement. Out of respect for both of our relationships, this conversation, this friendship, or whatever you want to call it, is over. Have a great life.” And with that, she hung up in my face.
I swear it took another minute or so for me to hang up the phone. I couldn’t believe what had just happened. Wow. Her tone was so definitive, so final. Either I had thoroughly pissed her off, or she was really gonna marry that fool. How could she actually marry him? Mike? Really? Wow. And then there was that damn word again—complicate. I guess that’s where the complications lay. We were complicating each other’s lives.
It was safe to say it was official. Lucinda hated me. There was not going to be a mutual understanding or happy ending between us. I couldn’t say that I blamed her. I had made it perfectly clear that I wanted a Lucinda-free life, and that’s what she was giving me. The facts were that without Lucinda in my life, I was engaged to the mother of my child, back in church, doing great on my job, and I was happy. So please tell me why I felt like I was the loneliest man on earth.
I willed myself to accept what she had stated on the phone. I didn’t need Lucinda Rojas in my life. Not at all. That’s what I kept telling myself over and over again.
Chapter 8
Charice
“Hi, Ms. Charice,” London screeched, running up to Lexi and me.
“Hi, sweetheart. How’ve you been?”
Tucking her hair behind her ear, she scrunched her face. “I’m okay. I miss you.”
“I miss you, too.” What I really wanted to say was, “If your dumb-ass daddy hadn’t moved you from my dance academy, you’d see me all the time.”
Yes, that’s right. Lincoln had moved London to one of my competitors’ dance schools so he didn’t have to deal with me. I knew that was what it was all about. The less he had to face me, the less he’d have to risk telling me about Mona.
Mona. Mona. Mona. I’d never despised a woman so much in my life. She had what belonged to me, and the sad part about it was on the one hand, I didn’t even want Lincoln anymore. Here I was risking it all for him, and his ungrateful ass was doing me dirty. Claiming he loved me. Hmph. He didn’t love me enough not to go searching for someone else. He could’ve just believed in me. Trusted me. But no, he had to go find ol’ light bright.
I couldn’t wait to burst his fucking bubble. If I didn’t have so much at stake, I would’ve confronted him on the spot and told him to go straight to hell. On the other hand, I wanted what belonged to me, what he promised me—a life with Lincoln. That was why it hurt me to my core.
He had tried to be overly slick about not seeing me, so he’d asked if Lexi could spend the night with him just so I wouldn’t know about his parents’ big family gathering that day. It wasn’t all that big. It was just his parents, Lincoln and the girls, and his brother and Krista. They were celebrating Krista’s first pregnancy, twin boys. In fact, Krista was how I found out. She’d called me and asked if I was coming because she wanted to talk to me about caring for twins. She said she’d asked Lincoln to invite me. Funny thing was, I never got the invite, so I put two and two together. He didn’t want me to know about it so he wouldn’t have to face me. You see, ever since Mona came into the picture, Lincoln would only pick up Lexi when Ryan was home, but mostly, he’d have me drop Lexi off at his parents’ house and pick her up from there.
Thanks to Mona’s infatuation with me, I knew all their business. They didn’t know where each other stayed, and Mona had no idea what his baby girl looked like, let alone who his baby’s mother was. No wonder that fool had the nerve to drop me off and hit on me in front of my house. She didn’t know her man lived exactly three doors down.
I used her ass to bait all kinds of information. I knew every time they talked and even down to every time she fucked my dick. She was like an open book with me, not only because she was my friend, but because she desperately wanted to fuck me. With the phone sex I’d been dropping on her ass, I knew she’d do anything to try to get to the real deal.
Trust me, the phone sex was for her enjoyment. Wasn’t nothing sexy about listening to that bitch moan and groan in my damn ear. Believe me, she was never gonna get any closer to my good stuff than what she could imagine over the phone. If anyone knew the lengths that I went to with all this, they’d probably think I had lost it, but I had a plan. Oh yes, being with Ryan all this time had paid off tremendously. I controlled all of the strings to all of my little puppets, and when the time came, I was gonna snip every last one of them—one by one.
I kind of felt sorry for Mona because in hindsight, she was the innocent party in all of this, but even fake wars had casualties. She became a casualty the moment she slept with my dick. The moral of the story was: Do your homework before you lay it down with a man or woman. Do your homework.
Back to the subject at hand. I told Lincoln that Lexi couldn’t spend the night after Krista, Lincoln’s sister-in-law, informed me of the family gathering. I made up some lame-ass story about taking the kids to visit one of my relatives. He was upset, but rather than invite me, he claimed to understand. So here I was, front and center at their old home in Queens, with Lexi in tow. Surprise. Surprise. Surprise.
Checkmate, Charice.
“It is so good to see you, Ms. Charice. I didn’t know you were coming. Can I help you with anything?” London asked.
“If you could grab Lexi’s baby bag for me, that would be great, London. You’re such a sweetheart. Is everyone in the house?”
“Yes, ma’am. I was just out here listening to music on my iPhone.”
Great. This was gonna be fun, especially since I knew Mona was out of town working on a case. Besides, Lincoln wouldn’t have her around his family until she knew the truth about Lexi. It was too risky for her to find out the truth by coming here. In fact, she hadn’t even known about the cookout, and she still didn’t know. How did I know that? Why, of course, because I meddled in their business. Like I said, do your homework.
“What’s up, family?” My announcement came as London and I walked into the house with Lexi.
Krista was the first one out into the foyer. “Charice!” she belted, waddling over to hug me. “Oh em gee! I didn’t think you were coming.” She hugged me tightly. “And let me see my niece.”
“Sure thing, honey.” I handed over the baby. “You are simply glowing, Krista. You wear pregnancy well.”
“Thank you, honey.” She blushed as she held Lexi. “She’s beautiful.”
By this time, everyone was in the foyer. “Hey, Charice,” Lincoln’s brother Leo said, coming over to hug me.
“Leo.” I hugged him back.
“Well, Charice, I didn’t expect to see you here,” Mr. Harper, Lincoln’s father, said, embracing me after Leo.
“Hey, Leonard. I didn’t think I was coming, but I couldn’t let Leo and Krista miss a chance to see Lexi.”
“Hi, sweetie,” Mrs. Harper, Lincoln’s mother, said, taking her turn to hug me. “Thank you for coming.”
I hugged her back tightly. “It’s no problem, Eleanora. You know I love you guys.”
“We’re all in the kitchen talking and getting the food prepared. Why don’t you come on back?” Eleanora invited.
“I don’t mind if I do. I just have to get Lexi’s bouncer out of the car.”
“What the fuck are you doing here?” I heard Lincoln’s voice behind me as I opened the trunk of my car.
I shifted so that we were face to face. “Bringing Lexi to the family gathering.”
“How’d you know about it?”
“Apparently, I was invited.”
“Krista,” he mumbled.
“Yeah, Krista,” I shot back. “So why didn’t I get my invite?”
Lincoln’s jaw twitched. “It’s a family gathering. The only member of the Harper family that lives in your household is Lexi.”
“So, you were going to bring my child all the way to Queens and not have the decency to tell me?”
“Our child. And no, I wasn’t. I was going to tell you when we got here,” Lincoln said with an attitude. “Now that you’ve brought her here, you can leave her with me and go.”
“Are you crazy? I did not drive all the way to Queens just to drop our baby off. Krista wants to see me, so I’m staying whether you like it or not.”
He stood with his hands about his waistline and huffed. “Why do you want to be here?”
I refused to offer an answer immediately, so instead I turned and pulled the bouncer out of the trunk and shut it. Once it was out, that’s when I addressed his question. “I think the bigger question here is why don’t you want me to be here?”
“Simple. You’re not in the family. You’re a Westmore, remember?”
“Is that what all of this is about?”
“All of what, Charice?”
“Attitude, lack of communication, you not wanting to see me or talk to me, that’s what. What about our relationship, Linc?”
He rubbed his face with a chortle. “You mean our affair?”
“If that’s what you want to call it, yes.”
Lincoln went to speak and then stopped, putting his hand up at me. “You know what? I’m not doing this at my parents’ house.”
Sexily, I walked up on him, closing the space between us. “Why not?” I ran my finger down the middle of his chest. “We do each other so well at this house.”
He pushed my hand away. “Stop it.”
“Don’t flatter yourself. I’m not the same stupid and desperate Charice that was crawling around your kitchen floor, begging you not to leave me, Lincoln. And I won’t be ever again. Not for you or anybody else.”
Just then, his brother walked outside. “Hey! What’s the hold up?” he asked, running over to the car where we were. “You guys can talk inside. Everything all right?” he asked, looking back and forth between Lincoln and me.
“I’m good,” Lincoln said, plainly staring at me.
“Great,” I sneered, eyeing him back.
“Okay then. Linc, stop being rude. Grab that bouncer from Charice, and let’s go. Mama is wondering what’s going on,” Leo ordered.
Lincoln grabbed the bouncer from me and said roughly, “Let’s go inside, Charice.”
“Let’s.” I marched ahead of him straight for the house.
Lincoln leaned over to whisper to me. “This discussion is finished.”
I chuckled. “Whatever.”
Once inside, I had a blast, laughing and talking with Eleanora and Krista. London was busy on her cell phone and practicing her dancing in the back yard, and the men were watching sports in the family room. Then Lincoln and Leo got on the grill to hook up the barbecue, while Krista and I played with Lexi, and I gave her some pointers with the twins.
The dinner was a BBQ bonanza. Hamburgers, hot dogs, ribs, BBQ chicken, macaroni and cheese, potato salad, baked beans, salad, corn on the cob, and Mrs. Eleanora’s special red velvet cake. I completely hurt myself trying to eat a little of everything. We were all stuffed and miserable. We all decided to go out in the backyard and play some Spades while we digested the large meal.
“So, bro, you haven’t had two words to say to your baby’s mama all day. What’s that about?” Leo asked as we all sat there playing Spades.
“Leo,” Krista said warningly.
“I’m just asking.” Leo shrugged.
Lincoln eyed me. “Everything is cool. We just prefer it this way. Don’t we, Charice?” he asked, drinking a swig of his beer.
“Yep, we do.” I pointed at Lincoln. “You reneged.”
“No, I didn’t,” he yelled.
My eyebrow raised at his tone, so I gave him back the same energy. “Yes, you did. You cut my clubs with a spade three books ago. Now you just threw out a club.”
“Oooh, brother, you sure did,” Krista laughed.
“Give up those books, Lincoln,” Eleanora laughed as she sat holding her husband’s hand at the other table.
“I did not renege,” he continued to argue.
“Hold up your books, bro,” Leo said.
Lincoln rolled his eyes and threw his book over to me. “Fine. You caught me.”
Leo, Krista, and I laughed and high-fived each other. “All of them, baby. Give them all up.” I continued laughing as he handed over all his books.
“I’ve known for years that fool was a cheater. I’m so glad he finally got caught. Good job, Charice,” Leo thanked me with a high-five to boot.
Smirking, I quipped, “If you’re gonna play the game, you have to learn to be the best. Do your homework. Ain’t that right, Lincoln?”
His only response was the sulking expression that he threw toward me.
“Stop being a sore loser,” Leonard fussed. “She caught you fair and square.”
“I know this, Dad,” Lincoln grumbled, causing everyone to erupt again at his babyish behavior.
We continued to play, but Lincoln got up and went inside the house. Once everyone’s attention was back on the card game or listening to the radio, I decided to go inside the house, too.
“I’m gonna go check on Lexi,” I whispered to Krista before easing inside.
When I went to the bedroom, Lincoln was standing there watching over her.
“She’s beautiful when she sleeps, isn’t she?”
He looked back at me and nodded. “Yeah, she is.”
I walked up beside him, and we stood there staring at her in silence.
“Sometimes, it’s hard to believe that we made this beautiful baby,” he said.
Gazing up at him, I touched his arm. “But we did. We made our beautiful daughter. She is so reminiscent of all the beautiful things that we could’ve been.”
His head fell back in agony. “Charice, don’t go there.”
My eyes watered at his instant rejection. I’d thought we were finally having a breakthrough as we doted over our baby, the one thing we got right and shared together. Still, even in the sweetest and purest moment we’d had in forever, he showed his utter disdain for me. Damn. He despised me that much? Apparently so, and it hurt like hell. The frustration I felt about his constant rejection of me with no explanation finally got the better of me. If he didn’t want me here, then we would go.
“Fine. We’re leaving in a few.”
“You can leave her with me.”
“You’ve been drinking. I think not.”
He turned, facing me with an incredulous look on his face, and held up his finger. “I had one beer.”
“One too many for me.” I walked out, and he followed, so I told him how I really felt about the situation. “I care about the welfare of our daughter, and whether you believe me or not, I care about your welfare, too.”
He smacked his teeth. “Do you?” he asked with an attitude.
“Yes.” I gave him back the same attitude he’d given me.
Lincoln stood there for a second looking as if he was in turmoil as to what to say next. For a moment, it seemed as if he’d finally engage me, but a split second later, he shook his head, and the stone wall that he’d placed around his heart had returned.
He was about to walk past me, and I reached for him, falling into his arms.
“Charice, I can’t keep—”
I put my finger to his lips. Staring into his eyes, I held his gaze for a second, trying to silently convey what he wouldn’t allow me to explain. Our sexual synergy was too far off the Richter Scale. I could sense it, so I went for broke.
